The Capitol Curtain Call

The overture begins on Monday morn, A tweet is fired, a new crisis born. A talking head appears on cable news, To analyze the subtext and the clues. A bill is drafted in a frantic haze, (It's fifteen hundred pages, what a maze!) The press corps gathers, breathless for the spin, Let the magnificent, mad week begin! It's another opening in Washington! The plot is lost, the funding's over-run!

We sing the lines, though they make no sense at all, It's the weekly Capitol curtain call! The logic's gone, the stakes are oh-so-high! We pinch ourselves and ask, "Oh, me, oh, my!" Is this real life or just a fever dream? (The prompter's broken, or so it would seem!) A hearing's called for Wednesday afternoon, They're grilling someone captured on cartoon. The quotes fly out, completely out of sync, They give us whiplash just to stop and think.

A scandal drops, then vanishes by four, Replaced by something even more bizarre! We do a quick-change, learn a brand new scene, The most chaotic show you've ever seen! It's another opening in Washington! The plot is lost, the funding's over-run! We sing the lines, though they make no sense at all, It's the weekly Capitol curtain call! The logic's gone, the stakes are oh-so-high! We pinch ourselves and ask, "Oh, me, oh, my!"

Is this real life or just a fever dream? (The prompter's broken, or so it would seem!) (Music slows, a single spotlight shines) Just for a moment, we forget our lines. Could there be sense? A point we've somehow missed? A simple story in this tangled twist? (Orchestra swells dramatically) No, that's the cue! The finale's getting near! Grab your conviction, hide your rising fear! (Full cast, huge crescendo, kick line forms)

IT'S ANOTHER OPENING IN WASHINGTON! THE PLOT IS LOST, THE FUNDING'S OVER-RUN! WE SING THE LINES, THOUGH THEY MAKE NO SENSE AT ALL, IT'S THE WEEKLY CAPITOL CURTAIN CALL! (The curtain falls, then rises for one last line) See you next Friday... eight o'clock is fine!