Stoic Wisdom, No Nonsense: Control What You Can, Let Go of the Rest

In our last session, we talked about the immense energy wasted on worry. Today, we build the foundational tool for eliminating it, straight from the Stoic philosopher Epictetus. Of things some are in our power, and others are not. In our power are opinion, movement toward a thing, desire, aversion, and in a word, whatever are our own acts. Not in our power are the body, property, reputation, offices, and in a word, whatever are not our own acts. And the things in our power are by nature free, not subject to restraint or hindrance.

But the things not in our power are weak, slavish, subject to restraint, and belong to others. Remember then that if you think the things which are by nature slavish to be free, and the things which are of others to be your own, you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed. You will blame both gods and men. But if you think that only which is your own to be your own, and what is of others to be of others, as it really is, no man will ever compel you. No man will hinder you. You will blame no man, you will accuse no man.

You will do nothing against your will. No man will harm you. You will have no enemy, for you will not suffer any harm. That was the first chapter of the Enchiridion, or "handbook," from Epictetus. It is the absolute bedrock of all practical Stoic thought. Everything else builds on this single, clean distinction. Let’s be precise here. The things in our power are our judgments, our intentions, and our choices. That’s it. The list is short. The things not in our power are… everything else. Your health, your wealth, your reputation, what other people think of you, the outcome of an election, the traffic on your commute.

This is where most people get it wrong. They hear this and think it’s a recipe for passivity. For giving up. The reality is the exact opposite. This isn't about not caring. It's about focusing your effort where it can actually have an effect. Here’s what it looks like in practice. You’re up for a promotion at work. What is not in your power? The final decision your boss makes. The mood she’s in that day. Whether a colleague is unfairly favored. To spend your energy worrying about those things is to pour water into a sieve.

So what IS in your power? The quality of the work you submit. The diligence of your preparation. The way you conduct yourself with your team. Your choice to act with integrity regardless of the outcome. Epictetus is telling you to pour one hundred percent of your energy into those things. The process, not the prize. This is the critical shift. We are not responsible for the outcome. We are responsible for the effort. When you truly accept that, the promise Epictetus makes starts to become real. "No man will hinder you...

you will have no enemy." This doesn't mean people won't try to stop you. It means your inner calm—your core self—cannot be touched by their actions, because you have placed your good in what you control: your own choices. The work, then, is to constantly sort your life into these two columns. In this situation, what is mine, and what is not? This simple question, asked over and over, is the beginning of wisdom and the end of needless anxiety. Now that we have this primary tool, the next step is to examine how we form our opinions in the first place.

Because as Epictetus says, our opinions are one of the few things we truly own. Your peace depends on it.