Stoic Wisdom, No Nonsense: How Epictetus Helps Us Reclaim Control in an Anxious World

A 2026 study in The British Journal of Psychiatry confirmed a global rise in anxiety, linking it directly to a perceived loss of control over external events. In our last episode, we explored the Discipline of Assent—that critical pause between a stimulus and our response. Today, we examine what to do inside that pause to reclaim our power, using a principle from the Stoic philosopher Epictetus. Epictetus, born a slave in the first century AD, developed a mental model so powerful it sustained him through servitude and later made him one of Rome's most revered teachers.

He called it the Dichotomy of Control. The idea is simple, but not easy. He stated: “Some things are in our control and others not.” This isn't a suggestion; it's a fundamental law of our experience. What is in our control are our judgments, our intentions, our actions, and our responses. That’s it. That is the complete list. What is not in our control is… well, everything else. Other people’s opinions, the stock market, whether someone returns your text, and every single thing that has already happened. Most of our anxiety, frustration, and wasted energy comes from confusing these two categories.

Let’s make this practical. Consider the search for approval. You post something online, or deliver a presentation at work, and then spend the next three hours checking for likes or waiting for an email from your boss. This is a perfect example of misapplied energy. Their reaction is in their control, not yours. Applying the dichotomy means shifting your entire focus to what was yours: Did you do the work with integrity? Did you prepare thoroughly? Did you speak your truth? Your job ends there. Or consider a past mistake.

You lie awake at three A.M. replaying a conversation where you said the wrong thing. The event is over. It now lives in the category of ‘not up to us.’ It cannot be changed. To focus on it is, as Marcus Aurelius would say, structurally irrational. What is up to you, right now? The lessons you draw from it. The apology you might choose to make tomorrow. The commitment to act differently in the future. That is where your power lies. The same logic applies to large-scale events. Worrying about geopolitics or economic forecasts is a form of psychological attrition.

You are waging a war you cannot win, against forces you do not command. Here is the turn. The cost of this irrational focus isn't just anxiety. The real cost is opportunity. The energy you spend worrying about what you cannot change is energy you cannot spend on what you can. As one modern writer put it: “What are you not building, not creating, not nurturing, while you wage that psychological war? What relationships are quietly deteriorating while you doomscroll?” The Stoics would say this isn’t just a poor strategy.

It’s a betrayal of your own potential. You are abandoning the field where you are captain, to shout at a storm from the shore. So what does this look like in practice, today? It begins with a simple, deliberate question. Before you feel yourself getting spun up by an event, or a person, or a memory… you pause. And you ask: “What, in this exact situation, is actually up to me?” Be ruthless in your answer. Is it the outcome? No. Is it their perception? No. Is it your own attitude, your next action, your chosen response?

Yes. Then, pour one hundred percent of your energy there, and let the rest go. This is not apathy. It is the highest form of strategic engagement. The goal is not to stop caring about the world. The goal is to apply your power where it actually exists. Your strength is not found in changing outside events. It is found in mastering your response to them.