Unbelievable Truths Weekly · Episode 1 · 4 min · 27 April 2026
Absolutely True, Absolutely Absurd: The Emu War Chronicles
Each week, we uncover a real story so unbelievable, only deadpan journalism can do it justice.
What this episode covers
Each week, we uncover a real story so unbelievable, only deadpan journalism can do it justice.
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Transcript
570 words · the script as narrated
On November second, 1932, the Australian military commenced operations against a domestic enemy. The target was a population of approximately twenty thousand flightless birds. This was in the Campion district of Western Australia. After World War One, the government had settled thousands of veterans on marginal farmland. Then the Great Depression hit. And on top of the depression, a drought. That's what forced the issue. The drought pushed a massive population of emus off their normal migration routes and onto these new farms. They found irrigated land and wheat crops, and they were destroying everything. So the farmers, many of them ex-soldiers themselves, asked the government for help.
And they specifically requested machine guns. The Minister of Defence at the time, Sir George Pearce, approved the request. He authorized the deployment of Major G.P.W. Meredith of the Royal Australian Artillery, two soldiers, two Lewis machine guns, and ten thousand rounds of ammunition. A formal military operation. For birds. It was officially framed as a pest-culling exercise, with the military providing the equipment and expertise. A newsreel crew even went along to document what they assumed would be a swift success. How did the first engagement go? It was a failure. The soldiers tried to herd a flock of about fifty emus into an ambush. The birds just split into small groups and ran.
The machine gunners couldn't track them effectively. They're surprisingly fast. And their movements are erratic. A few days later, the soldiers set up another ambush near a dam, with over a thousand emus approaching. The gun jammed after firing fewer than a dozen rounds. The entire flock scattered before a single confirmed casualty. So the army was being outmaneuvered. Major Meredith's own field reports noted this. He described the emus adopting guerrilla tactics. He wrote that each pack seemed to have its own leader—a large, black-plumed bird that would keep watch while the others fed, giving a warning call at the first sign of approach. That's a pattern seen in many asymmetric conflicts.
A large, conventional force struggles against a decentralized, mobile opponent that knows the terrain. It's a structural parallel. The Australian force had superior firepower, but the emus had superior mobility and no central command to decapitate. The analogy breaks down, of course, because the emus had no strategic objective beyond eating wheat. But tactically, they were proving impossible to pin down. So what was the final result of the operation? After about a month, the military withdrew. The official report claimed 986 kills, using 9,860 rounds of ammunition. That's a ratio of exactly ten rounds per confirmed kill. That does not sound like an efficient use of resources.
It wasn't. An ornithologist observing the campaign suggested the actual number of emus killed was much lower. The press had a field day. The "Great Emu War" was declared a decisive victory... for the emus. And the farmers? Did they ever get relief? Not from the military. Subsequent requests for troops in later years were refused. Instead, the government instituted a bounty system, paying civilians for emu kills. That proved far more effective and less expensive than deploying the army. So in the end, a decentralized market-based solution succeeded where a formal military operation had failed. It became a permanent, if slightly embarrassing, part of Australian history.
A reminder that overwhelming force isn't always the answer. Sometimes the opponent is just too nimble to be caught.
About Unbelievable Truths Weekly
Join us each week as we delve into astonishing stories that seem too bizarre to be real, yet are entirely true. Presented with deadpan seriousness, this show uncovers the surprising realities behind seemingly fabricated tales, offering listeners a fascinating blend of humor and insight into the oddities of the world.
