Absurd But True: Deadpan Deep Dives into History's Strangest Real Events

In the summer of 1859, the United States and Great Britain brought warships, cannons, and over two thousand soldiers to the brink of conflict. The trigger was a single pig. This story feels like a direct successor to last week's episode on the War of the Wooden Bucket. Another case where a trivial object becomes the focus of immense national pride. And immense military force. The conflict took place on San Juan Island, which sits between modern-day Washington State and Vancouver Island. The problem started with the Oregon Treaty of 1846. It set the border along the 49th parallel, but when it hit the water, the language got vague.

It said the line should run through "the middle of the channel" that separates the continent from Vancouver Island. But there wasn't one channel. There were two. The Haro Strait and the Rosario Strait. San Juan Island was caught right in the middle. Exactly. So both American and British citizens started settling there, each believing the island belonged to their country. The British were mostly represented by the Hudson's Bay Company. Which brings us to the pig. It does. An American farmer named Lyman Cutlar found a large black pig eating potatoes in his garden. This had happened before. This time, he shot and killed it.

And the pig belonged to a British subject. It belonged to Charles Griffin, an employee of the Hudson's Bay Company. Cutlar offered to pay for the pig. Griffin demanded an outrageous sum—one hundred dollars. Cutlar refused. So the British authorities threatened to arrest Cutlar. They did. And the American settlers, feeling threatened, called for U.S. military protection. The request went up the chain of command. And the army responded. Wait, they sent troops? For a pig dispute? They sent Captain George Pickett—yes, the same Pickett of Pickett's Charge at Gettysburg—with a company of 66 soldiers.

He landed on the island and declared it American soil. How did the British react to that? Not well. The governor of British Columbia, James Douglas, dispatched three warships under the command of Captain Geoffrey Hornby. They arrived carrying over a thousand troops and marines. So you have 66 American soldiers facing down three British warships. And the British commander had orders to land his troops and remove Pickett's men. He was ordered to start a war, if necessary. But he didn't. He didn't. Captain Hornby looked at the situation and saw the absurdity. He reportedly said it would be "foolish" to involve two great nations in a war over a squabble about a pig.

So he refused the order to land. That’s a career-ending move for a military officer. It could have been. But for weeks, the two sides just sat there, in a standoff. The soldiers on the island actually got along quite well, visiting each other's camps. So what broke the stalemate? Word finally reached Washington D.C. and London. Both governments were alarmed that a local dispute had escalated so far. They immediately sent negotiators to de-escalate. And they reached a deal? They agreed to a temporary joint military occupation of the island, with one hundred soldiers from each side. That joint occupation lasted for twelve years.

Twelve years? What was the final resolution? In 1872, they submitted the border dispute to international arbitration. The arbitrator was Kaiser Wilhelm the First of Germany. He reviewed the treaty and sided with the American claim. The border was officially set through the Haro Strait. So the San Juan Islands became U.S. territory. And the only casualty in the entire Pig War… was the pig. The only one. It’s a perfect historical pattern. A small, almost comical event reveals a deep structural flaw—in this case, a poorly written treaty. We see it again and again. You just hope there's a Captain Hornby on the other side, refusing the order.