Another Opening, Another Gaffe

The overture begins at dawn, another week is on! The bill is called the 'Pigeon Parity Act of '24'. They're debating beak-size standards on the Senate floor. A congressman stands up to speak, he's practiced for a week, He quotes a famous poet, bold and loud, But calls the great Walt Whitman 'Walter from the crowd'! Oh, the script we're handed every single week! The plot twists make our tired futures bleak! Is this a farce? A tragedy? A deeply flawed political comedy?

We sing the lines, we hit our cues, while drowning in the breaking news! It's just another Friday on this wild, chaotic stage of Beltway rage! The press briefing was a masterclass in spin, Where facts went out, and 'alternative facts' came in. The spokesperson, with a practiced, plastic grin, Swore that the deficit was looking thin. They used a chart that made no sense at all, a scrawl upon the wall, To prove that sinking ships could actually fly, And we just watched the ratings numbers touch the sky! Oh, the script we're handed every single week!

The plot twists make our tired futures bleak! Is this a farce? A tragedy? A deeply flawed political comedy? We sing the lines, we hit our cues, while drowning in the breaking news! It's just another Friday on this wild, chaotic stage of Beltway rage! The writers must be on a bender, for goodness heaven's sake. No narrative could be this mad, no story could be this fake. And yet the curtain's set to rise, we see it in their eyes, The audience is just as lost as we, adrift in this absurdity! Is anyone in charge of this whole play?

(spoken) No? Okay! (With a dramatic key change, everyone belting) SO THE SCRIPT WE'RE HANDED EVERY SINGLE WEEK! THE PLOT TWISTS MAKE OUR TIRED FUTURES BLEAK! IT IS A FARCE! A TRAGEDY! THIS HORRIFYING, DARK COMEDY! WE'LL SCREAM THE LINES, WE'LL MISS OUR CUES, WHO CARES WHEN THERE'S SO MUCH TO LOSE? IT'S JUST ANOTHER FRIDAY ON THIS WILD, CHAOTIC STAGE OF BELTWAY RAGE! (spoken)

Curtain!