The Weekly Absurdity

Monday started with a bill on the floor, A thousand pages no one read before. They called a presser, full of sound and of fury, While a tweet from a senator blurred all the blurry. A talking head screamed, another one wept, Secrets were whispered while the nation just slept... or tried to. Oh, the curtain goes up on the Capitol stage! Is this history's chapter or just a new page Of a script that gets weirder with every new line? Is it tragedy, comedy? We can't tell the sign!

So we sing it out loud with a pained, jazzy hand, Welcome to Friday in this unbelievable land! Then Wednesday morning, a hearing began, About a new scandal, a ridiculous plan. The questions were dodged with a masterful grace, A masterclass taught with a straight, earnest face. The pundits all pivoted, the polls did a swing, Forgetting completely last week's terrible thing! Oh, the curtain goes up on the Capitol stage! Is this history's chapter or just a new page

Of a script that gets weirder with every new line? Is it tragedy, comedy? We can't tell the sign! So we sing it out loud with a pained, jazzy hand, Welcome to Friday in this unbelievable land! Is there a writer? A director somewhere? Are we all just bit-players in this grand affair? (Music softens, a single spotlight) We practiced our lines, we learned all the cues... But nobody told us we'd be singing the news! (Music builds, orchestra swells, full cast joins in)

So raise up the floodlights and strike up the band! Oh, the curtain goes up on the Capitol stage! Is this history's chapter or just a new page Of a script that gets weirder with every new line? Is it tragedy, comedy? We can't tell the sign! So we sing it out loud with a pained, jazzy hand, Welcome to Friday in this unbelievable land! (Big finish, button note, exasperated pose) ...Until Monday!