The Capitol Follies

The week began on Monday with promises so grand A bill to fix the nation, a handshake, steady hand But Tuesday brought a headline, a tweet sent in a rage By Wednesday, all decorum had fled the public stage A senator was quoting a movie from his youth A pundit screamed on cable, "But where's the actual truth?!" The press corps chased a rumor, the Speaker dropped the mic It's Shakespeare played by muppets, and nothing's what it's like! Oh, what a week! Another week! The curtain never falls! The plot is getting thicker, bouncing off the marble halls! We're singing from a script that no one can believe is real

Another Friday night, how does it make you feel? It's madness! It's a spectacle! A grand and troubled show! So take your seats, the finale's starting now, you know! The talking heads are spinning, their faces full of dread Reciting talking points they've been professionally fed An expert's on the panel, then gone without a trace Replaced by someone else with a more photogenic face The polls are up, the polls are down, a dizzying display We've all forgotten what we were angry at yesterday A hearing turns to shouting, a statesman makes a gaffe And all the while the audience just has to sit and laugh!

Oh, what a week! Another week! The curtain never falls! The plot is getting thicker, bouncing off the marble halls! We're singing from a script that no one can believe is real Another Friday night, how does it make you feel? It's madness! It's a spectacle! A grand and troubled show! So take your seats, the finale's starting now, you know! (Spoken, hushed) Is someone writing this? Is this a test, a game, a farce? I learned my lines this morning, I thought I knew my part (Music begins to swell)

But the story keeps on twisting, the logic's disappeared! (Full cast, crescendo) WE'RE LIVING IN A SATIRE THAT WE'VE ALWAYS FEARED! (Full belt, key change) OH, WHAT A WEEK! ANOTHER WEEK! THE CURTAIN NEVER FALLS! THE PLOT IS GETTING THICKER, BOUNCING OFF THE MARBLE HALLS! WE'RE SINGING FROM A SCRIPT THAT NO ONE CAN BELIEVE IS REAL! ANOTHER FRIDAY NIGHT, HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL? IT'S MADNESS! IT'S A SPECTACLE! A GRAND AND TROUBLED SHOW! SO TAKE YOUR SEATS, THE FINALE'S STARTING NOW, YOU KNOW! (Music swells to a huge climax, then suddenly cuts off)

Until we do it all again on Monday...